Stepped Back to Step Forward

I’ve been quiet for a couple of days, partly because I’ve been healing from my falls, partly because I found out my visa renewal is coming up a lot sooner than I thought. (Cue panic, paperwork, and a little bit of hiding.) I promised myself I’d post every day, but sometimes life decides otherwise.

But in between the stress, there have been some really good moments.

Last night, a friend called me. Her five-year-old daughter, who’s an absolute doll and who I get along with so well because I’ve worked with kids most of my life, told her mom she wanted to see me. So her mom picked up the phone and called me. I stood up, took a break, and went out. It felt so good to be wanted, to be missed like that, and then to just sit with my friend, have a glass of wine, and feel part of their little circle.

This morning I met another friend for coffee and breakfast. We hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks. We’re both the kind of people who reach out if we really need help, but otherwise tend to deal with things on our own. Which makes it that much nicer when we reconnect in person. Talking things out over coffee in the middle of a small town felt steadying, grounding.

That’s something I’m learning here: the beauty of small-town life. You step outside, and the people at the café know you. The shop owners wave. Friends are a few steps away. Even my physical therapist lives in my building, and today I only had to go up a couple of floors for my appointment. My life has changed so much in that way, and I’m grateful for it.

And there’s more to look forward to. This Saturday, my favorite restaurant in town is hosting a Cuban music night, and all of us who became friends this year are going together. The restaurant sits right on the beach, with incredible views and phenomenal food. In the middle of everything else, it feels good to have something joyful waiting just ahead.

And September holds another bright spot: I’m going to Liverpool. I can’t even explain how excited I am about taking all the Beatles tours, and yes, the Titanic tours too (I might be a little obsessed). Music, history, and that city I’ve always wanted to see.

So yes, I’ve got financial issues, health issues, loneliness, and grief that I’m carrying. But alongside all of that, I’m trying to rebuild something special here. I miss my friends in the U.S. terribly, but I’m not ready to give up on Spain.

I’ll keep posting. I’ll keep showing up here, no matter what. And I’ll keep learning to be gentler with myself in the process.

And one last thing, because life has a sense of humor. In the two days I stepped back, two people left comments here. I didn’t respond right away, and I feel bad about that. So this is my public apology and my thank-you at the same time. Thank you for reading, for following along, and for reminding me that I’m not writing into the void.

Me practicing with my OM Pen EP-7, still getting the hang of this camera. This is the restaurant we are going to on Saturday.